What is suffering?
Sufferings are pains, grief, anguish, sorrows, distress, miseries, agonies, afflictions and etc, etc. Basically there are 2 types of sufferings. They are the physical sufferings and mental sufferings.
For the physical sufferings, there are again 2 types, pains caused by sickness or pains caused by injuries.
For the mental sufferings, there are again 2 types, mentally deranged and emotional unhappiness.
We will leave the physical sufferings for the Doctors to diagnose the sickness and prescribe the medicine or the Pharmacist to prescribe the medicine for the sickness. We are also not discussing of the mentally deranged sufferings as I am not a Psychiatrist.
We will be discussing on those sufferings cause by emotional unhappiness because there are ways to eradicate, lessen or reduce the sufferings. If we are not in the position to eradicate, lessen or reduced the emotional sufferings then it will be a waste of time discussing them.
Due to our ignorance and not understanding how the nature of things works, we suffered emotionally. We have always being looking for happiness and not understanding the nature of emotions. Emotions are a kind of feelings. Emotions arise when our 5 senses and the mind come into contact in a situation or dilemma. There are many of types of feelings depending on the situation or dilemma which the 5 senses and the mind that come into contact with. It will be difficult to describe all the feelings. These feelings can be categorized under 3 categories, the pleasant, neutral & the unpleasant feelings.
Now let me explained how the 3 categories of feelings make us suffer.
First allow me to explain the unpleasant type of feelings cause the suffering during a dilemma. Unpleasant types of feelings are those we dislike, for example in a dilemma of being scolded, jilted, cheated, in predicament, punished, humiliated & etc, etc. When a person is in that kind of dilemma, a kind of unpleasant feeling is formed. No one will like these unpleasant feelings. We will experience a kind of misery such as unhappiness, sadness, depression, despair, grief, sorrow, agony, misfortune, hate and etc, etc. So, unpleasant feelings are suffering.
Secondly the neutral type of feelings. Neutral types of feelings are those that does not affect or have an impact on us, for example in a situation, if we were to discuss a topic which you are not interested and keep on discussing. Initially you do not feel unpleasant or pleasant but after a while you will get bored and this bored feeling will become a nuisance and become unpleasant. Boredom will lead to tediousness, dullness, monotonous, tiresome and etc, etc. So, neutral feelings will lead to unpleasant feelings which are also suffering.
Thirdly the pleasant types of feelings, which most of us are seeking for. Pleasant types of feeling are those feeling we like, for example:
1) in a situation where you are being in love or with your loves one,
2) had been away for sometimes and now going back to home town for a holiday,
3) strike a windfall,
4) having achieved something and etc, etc.
All the above situations, a kind of pleasant feeling are formed. We will experience a kind of pleasant feeling like enjoyment, lovely, nice, satisfying, amusing, happy, gladness, bliss, delighted and etc, etc
Falling in love is nice but to stay in love is difficult. In the US, 50% of the marriages ended in divorced. Do not get carried away by the Fairy Tales stories, “they are happily married ever after”. In real life, it is very difficult to stay together after marriage. Many opt not to complete the journey. Though many choose to complete the journey but may not be living happily. Just imagine the feelings of breaking up. Even if you can stay in love for a long time, the time has to come that you will have to depart one day with your loves one. The stronger the love, the more difficult when departing. This is suffering.
You had been away for quite sometimes for studies or working elsewhere, now you are going back to home town to spend your deserving holidays. Very excitedly you plan the holidays, informing your family members, relatives and friends that you will be back for a holiday. Back home family members also start preparing for you to come home. Your mother will be thinking to cook the food you like most. Everything went as planned, family members were at the airport waiting for your arrival. When you exit the airport, you were so happy and delighted to meet your parents, brothers, sisters and friends. You felt so touching, tears roll down from your eyes. You and your family members and friends were so happy that you all just kept hugging each other. After spending the well deserving holidays with your family members, relatives and friends, the time has come for you to go back for your studies or work place. The happiness or pleasant feelings that you had when you were coming home now will become despair or unpleasant when it is times to go back. The stronger the attachment, the more despair it will be when coming to depart. This is suffering.
Talking about wind fall, just imagine when you strike a jackpot of US 3 million, how will you feel? You would probably feel you are on top of the world, blissful, joyful, so happy and etc, etc.
The next moment you would try not to let other people know that you have strike jackpot. You will be thinking how you want to claim the winning without letting others know. You will not be able to sleep as you are too happy and there will be a lot thinking to do. Somehow other people will get to know and consequences will follow. When other people get to know that you have strike a jackpot, they will come to you for donations. Many other people will also come to you for donations. They will come again and again until you get repulsive or disturbed. The moment you stop donating, people will be talking behind you. Having the extra cash may get you involved in vices. When you are so rich, you actually do not know who your true friends are. There are many more negative types of consequences of being rich where only the rich people may know. From a blissful kind of feeling it will eventually lead to a kind of unpleasant feeling which is suffering.
There are a lot of Super Stars who have worked very hard to achieve their goals. After achieving their goals they become very rich and famous. By being very rich and famous, they are exposed to a lot of temptations and they are very difficult to resist. Many who are not in control of themselves would have fallen prey to their desire. They may get involved in vices which will eventually lead them to become unhappy. This is suffering.
All the above pleasant feelings had eventually become unpleasant feelings. As quoted by Master Hsuan Hua, all kinds of feelings are suffering. Every pleasant feeling will eventually lead to unpleasant feelings. And that is the nature of things.
Everything is subject to the 3 universal laws as pronounce by the Buddha.
1) Nothing is by itself, everything are conditioned.
2) Nothing is permanent, everything are impermanent and subject to changes.
3) Nothing is satisfactory, everything are all unsatisfactory.
Not understanding the nature of things we try to seek for these nice feelings or emotions and try to cling to these nice feelings. Not being aware that these feeling are subject to change and are in transition. That is why there are sufferings in this world.
Knowing that all kinds of feelings are suffering, therefore the wise do not seek for happiness. If happiness comes they will just acknowledge it and if unhappiness comes they will also just acknowledge it. For the wise, there is nothing they like and there is nothing they dislike. If there is nothing they like and there is nothing they dislike then there is no happiness and there is no unhappiness. They will stay serene all the time that will make them become very steadfast. The wise do not cling on the pleasant feelings or moan over the unpleasant feelings they will just accept it and let it go.
That is the difference between the wise and the smart. Most people will cling or grasp on to the pleasant feelings and will moan over the unpleasant feelings.
If we can learn and apply what the wise are practicing. Pleasant feeling arises just acknowledge and let it go. Unpleasant feelings arises also just acknowledge and then let it go. Then we can be in control of our feelings and not allow the feelings to control us. When our emotions are in control and consistent we can become steadfast and serene. When we are steadfast and serene, the atmosphere, environment and circumstances will not be able to affect us much then we will be consistent and will not be moody. There will not be mood swing in us. In this manner we will be able to eradicate or reduce or lessen our sufferings.
Then everyday can be and will be a meaningful day.
